For a long time, my body didn’t feel like home.
It felt like a war zone. A stranger. A thing I dragged around, numbed, ignored, and punished.
In active addiction, I became completely disconnected from myself—not just emotionally or spiritually, but physically too. I couldn’t tell you what hunger or rest or joy felt like because I had trained myself to avoid anything that required presence. Being in my body meant being vulnerable to pain, and that was something I was never taught how to hold. So I coped the only way I knew how—by checking out.
Alcohol became my escape hatch. A way to disappear from the physical discomfort, the emotional chaos, and the deep ache I carried in my bones. But what I didn’t realize was that every time I numbed out, I widened the gap between who I was and who I was becoming. I lost my ability to hear the signals my body was screaming at me—signals like exhaustion, stress, hunger, anxiety, joy, excitement. It all blurred together in a haze of avoidance.
And then recovery began. And suddenly, there was nowhere to hide.
I couldn’t drink my way through discomfort. I couldn’t disassociate on demand. And what I was left with was a body that I didn’t know how to listen to—and honestly, didn’t trust.
Learning to feel safe in my body has been one of the most tender and terrifying parts of my recovery journey.
Because to feel safe here—in me—meant learning how to stay instead of run.
It meant learning how to sit in silence without numbing.
It meant learning to interpret tension, fatigue, panic, restlessness—not as threats, but as messages.
Messages that said, “You’re overwhelmed. You’re lonely. You’re grieving. You’re alive.”
Reconnection is a slow, sacred process. One that takes intentionality, patience, and practice. And I’m still learning. But here are a few things that have helped me come home to myself:
5 Ways to Reconnect with Your Body in Recovery
- Breathwork + Grounding
Start small. Just breathe. Put your hand on your chest or belly and feel the rise and fall.
Try box breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4).
This simple act brings you back into the present and tells your nervous system: you are safe. - Gentle Movement
Walk. Stretch. Dance in your kitchen. Shake it out.
You don’t have to punish your body to honor it. You just need to move with intention and curiosity. - Body Scans + Check-ins
Set an alarm on your phone once a day and ask:
What does my body need right now?
Rest? Water? Nourishment? Touch? Stillness?
Practice responding with kindness—even if you can’t meet the need perfectly. - Track Emotional Responses
Where do you feel anger in your body? Anxiety? Peace?
Naming sensations helps you reclaim your power. It transforms confusion into understanding. - Reframe Touch + Self-Care
Sometimes, it’s as simple as rubbing lotion into your hands and saying:
This body is mine. I’m not at war with it anymore.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about relationship.
Your body is not your enemy. She is not broken. She is not unworthy. She is the vessel that carried you through every dark night and every miracle of survival.
And now, she deserves tenderness. She deserves trust.
You deserve to feel at home in yourself.
It won’t happen overnight. But with time, with presence, and with compassion, you’ll begin to hear her clearly. You’ll learn what peace feels like. And eventually, you’ll realize:
You’ve made it back.
You’re home.
💬 Call to Action:
Spend 5–10 minutes today doing a simple body scan. Start at the top of your head and slowly move down to your feet. Ask yourself: Where do I feel tension? What needs my attention? Write down one gentle thing you can do today to honor your body.
Then share in the comments (or DM me) one way you’re learning to reconnect with yourself. Let’s reclaim our bodies—one breath, one step, one choice at a time.
Radiant Redemption 
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