Learning to Live in Your Skin

One of the strangest parts of recovery — the part I didn’t expect — was how hard it would be to feel safe inside my own body.

For so long, I lived completely disconnected from myself.
Disconnected from my emotions.
Disconnected from my intuition.
Disconnected from the sensations that warned me something was wrong or tried to tell me what I needed.

When addiction ruled my life, my body wasn’t a home; it was a battlefield.
I numbed it.
I ignored it.
I punished it.
I pushed it past every limit.
And I silenced every signal it tried to send me.

Being in my body felt unsafe — because the emotions living there felt too big, too painful, too loud.

So when I got sober, I didn’t just have to learn new coping skills…
I had to learn to live in myself again.

And that has been some of the hardest and holiest work of my healing.

Addiction, trauma, and chaos teach us to leave our bodies.
To disconnect.
To go numb.
To check out.

For many of us, being present in our bodies was never modeled.
Or worse — being in our bodies was unsafe.
So of course being grounded feels foreign.
Of course noticing our emotional state feels painful.
Of course slowing down feels threatening.

Disconnection kept us alive once.
But recovery invites us into something different:

A life where we don’t have to run from ourselves anymore.

Learning to live in your body isn’t just mindfulness or breathing exercises — it’s rebuilding a relationship with yourself.

It’s being able to notice:

The tightness in your chest when anxiety creeps in
The tension in your jaw when resentment starts to simmer
The heaviness in your limbs when you’re overwhelmed
The flutter in your stomach when something isn’t right
The calm that settles in your shoulders when something is right

It’s recognizing your own cues instead of overriding them.
It’s honoring what you feel instead of numbing it.
It’s building trust with yourself one small sensation at a time.

That’s embodied healing.
Not perfection.
Not mystical.
Just… presence.

Learning to feel safe in my body has been a slow, ongoing process.

Some days I feel deeply grounded.
Other days I still feel a little floaty, disconnected, or emotionally far away from myself.

But here’s what has helped me come back to myself:

1. Pausing Instead of Pushing Through

I used to bulldoze over every feeling. Now I try to stop and ask:
“What is my body telling me right now?”

2. Grounding When I’m Spiraling

5-4-3-2-1. Deep breaths. Feeling my feet.
Bringing myself back into the present moment.

3. Naming Sensations Before Naming Emotions

Sometimes it’s easier to start with:
“My chest is tight.”
“My jaw hurts.”
“My shoulders feel heavy,”
before naming the emotion that caused it.

4. Practicing Stillness Without Judgment

Sometimes stillness feels comforting.
Sometimes it feels terrifying.
Both are okay.

5. Letting Safe People Help Me Regulate

Connection regulates the nervous system.
I don’t have to figure it out alone.

I’m learning that safety in my body is built — not discovered.
It comes from choosing myself again and again, even when it feels unfamiliar.

If being in your body feels foreign or scary, you are not broken.
You are not behind.
You are not failing at recovery.

You are unwinding years of survival patterns.
You are relearning presence.
You are rebuilding trust with yourself.

And that takes time.
Gentleness.
And a lot of compassion.

Take 3 minutes — that’s it — and try this:

Sit still and place your feet on the ground.
Put your hand on your chest or stomach.
Breathe in slowly for 4 seconds, hold for 2, release for 6.
Ask your body:
“What do you need from me right now?”

Write down whatever comes up — even if it’s just one word.

You are learning how to live in your skin again.
You’re rebuilding a home you don’t need to escape from.
And that is profound, beautiful, courageous work.

Radiant Redemption